When Silence Defeats it's Purpose

January 4, 2011. 5:30 pm.

I received an email from an ex-colleague of mine. A devastating news that still haunts me even to this day.

When one goes through stress, depression and then the silence is unbearable....that thin line between breathing and letting go seems to recede into the temptations of taking one's life. Until, that in itself exhumes one's soul of living.

It was my first time to have known someone who got into the perils of that situation. I just heard of his death a day before his funeral. I think "sad" is an understatement. I was bothered. Nobody at first knew the cause of death. Until I received an email from one of our friends.

When breathing becomes an act of survival and not enough to justify one's existence, I guess death seems to be the only way to go....for some. I didn't ask for details...I guess I didn't want to. We all have our own limitations and ways of dealing with issues and problems. The sadness that comes from it is the question..Could anyone have saved him? am I even in the position to ask that question? Who am I to dare think that nobody ever tried?

What really confines a person to the thought of living and moving on? What urges us to wake up to mornings and look forward to another day? They say having a partner and your own family defines the ultimate need to live.. But how about those who are broken hearted nor needless to say, those who haven't even met a partner and is still lost in the crossroads of life?

emotion is what makes us human, they say. But what if you've hit the abyss of despair and the emotions are unbearable?

Earlier I wrote I felt the silence, which i connected to happiness and contentment.

I guess for this situation, his silence has defeated the purposes of peace...instead, it was the aftermath of his life's depression....

To my ex-colleague, mentor and friend... may your soul rest in peace. and wherever you are, I hope you find in your heart and soul to forgive everything/everyone, so you may find the peaceful silence you deserve.